


“Vorpatril? Answer your door.”

by Gwynne



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Alternative solutions to a situation in Captain Vorpatril's Alliance.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 09:05:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6278227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/pseuds/Gwynne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marriage was an interesting solution to the problem of police and immigration officials pounding on the door. But there are some alternatives...</p>
<p>(Quotes some original text from Captain Vorpatril's Alliance.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	“Vorpatril? Answer your door.”

The universe is infinite. Which means that everything happens somewhere. 

So, in a different branch of the universe...

“….. Buy time,” said Ivan...

“Time for what?” said By...

“Time for me to think of something.”

“That could take all day.”

Ivan glared at him, then flinched at the ominous pounding noises coming from the door. Whatever he did, it had to be done soon.

So...

Ivan gets the others to tie him up. And then they hide themselves in the cupboards out of sight. Ivan waits till the authorities break in, then starts with the obvious line...

"Thank God You're Here!"

(Which is always a good way to start when people are ready to attack you.)

Like Miles reversing the kidnap scenario, Ivan greets his 'rescuers', and explains that the Brindis woman and her maid talked their way into his flat, he thought he was rescuing a maiden in distress. Then overnight they tied him up, robbed him and decamped. He'd managed to hobble-hop to the door panel to answer them when they buzzed, but he was somewhat embarrassed to be found like that, and was trying to get himself free, which is why he didn't tell them straight away. 

But they haven't been gone long, you can catch them if you hurry... Don't let me keep you...

Ok, that one's worth a try.

Or....

(I love this one)

Ivan and By strip off (*sigh*), the girls hide. Then Ivan answers the door, very VERY High Vor and impatient at having his special, private moment with a friend interrupted. By, after glaring at the interruption, heads for the bedroom to dress, blocking the cupboard where the girls are hiding.

Meanwhile the officials are dealing with a naked, and angry, Ivan. (*sigh* again.) The immigration officials can't find anyone to take, so they leave. Then Ivan pulls rank on the police by calling on the Admiral or ImpSec for help.

Or….

Let them all in, and then stun them - Ivan, By and Rish all have stunners. Tej probably does too. Stun them and keep them tied up until after the surprise inspection on the Kanzian - that's only one day... and deal with the authorities later. From a distance, if possible. I can just imagine Ivan's flat stacked with stunned officials, and the building manager. Of course, if they're missed then more people could be sent to find them, who will also have to be stunned... So Ivan gets back  
after a busy day on the Kanzian, to find Rish and Tej and a dozen half-stunned, cheesed off and very hostile Komarran police and immigration officials. And one building manager. At which point a lot more fast talking would be needed.

Or….

It's such a pity that Ivan doesn't have those handy-dandy grappling hooks and abseiling line that Miles found so useful to rescue him on Earth. Maybe they could make a rope from sheets, and drop from the balcony to the balcony of the floor below, break into that flat, and escape from the building...

Or….

By could announce that he's ImpSec, and has arrested the occupants of the flat, so trumping the Komarran local forces. Although that would slightly blow his cover.

Or….

(I still like the naked one best. For purely literary reasons, of course.)


End file.
